True love

If i would be able to go back in time where i could make things right again, i would change myself for the better. I've been doing some self evaluating these past few months. Back then i've always complained about each and every of my partner especially that someone i had loved dearly. Deciding to let him go because of my super huge ego and the worst thing that could happen in a relationship which is dishonesty and mistrust. I have always tried to pick up petty mistakes that doesn't seem to be a big a deal to anybody. I always look at the negative side until i never seem to take notice of the little things he has done to make me happy. I called him a stingy prick when in fact i'm almost capable of earning my own and able to afford any designer bags. Is money really everything? Not until you loses someone who is closest to you all this while. And had loved you for who you are. Regardless of your flaws,your bad habits, your pmses, that huge pimple you get every once a month. No matter what, he's always by your side. I always tell others that humans are not perfect but i couldn't accept the fact that he is NOT perfect . In my mind i wanted him to be the perfect boyfriend who would sweep me off my feet, go on expensive holidays, receive expensive present etc. I even turned it into a reality until i drove him away. Not to mention my nagging insecurities. I now laugh at my child like behaviour but all alone now. I wish i could ask for forgiveness for the mistakes i had made, the damage i had done to ruin everything that was perfect for a while. It is already too late. He made up his mind to leave. I wish i could tell him now how much i regretted doing the things i had done to hurt him. Telling him that i had made terrible mistakes. It has all been said and done. The fact that he will never know how much i loved him then and now. And he will never know that in my heart, he will always be the one i had always cared for all this while because i had never shared my feelings. Never told him that i cared for him, never told him what were my fears,what i had loved. All because i was too afraid to share my feelings. Too afraid to love. Maybe someday he will come back into my life and start everything once again.This time doing everything that is right. I am just wishing that this day will come. And even though he doesn't, I wish him all the happiness that he will find someday. Because this is what we call love. Love is not to be selfish. Love is to be forgiving.Love is learn to let go and let the person you care for be happy.